Raising a giver in a ‘gimme’ world

As most parents do, I often think about my children and wonder what kind of adults they’ll be when they grow up.

I hope they will become altruistic individuals, giving more than they take from the world.

But my children are constantly bombarded by messages from billboard ads, celebrity figures and TV commercials that scream the opposite — that pursuing one’s own luxury and comfort leads to happiness.

How do parents tune out the mantra of “gimme” and replace it with a spirit of generosity? This may not be as daunting as it seems. Try these simple steps to put your child on the path to philanthropy.

Model a life of giving

“Children are watching all the time and you need to ‘walk the walk,’” says Ellen Sabin, author of The Giving Book: Open the Door to a Lifetime of Giving. “There are dozens of things that you can do every day to demonstrate giving. When kids see parents doing those things, they want to do them, too.”

Sabin wrote the book about giving as a gift for her 6-year-old niece, Leah.

“It was a recipe for a happy life,” Sabin says. “I was hoping to show her she was powerful and could change the world around her and that it feels good to do that.”

Adopt a charity annually

Sabin suggests family members choose a charity together to support each year.

“Join an annual walk for autism, cancer or any other charitable cause,” Sabin says. “When you are at the dinner table talking, decide how you want to spend your philanthropic dollars together.”

Since children often connect with helping animals, consider a charity walk that benefits pet rescue or animal adoption. 

Another idea would be to participate in Heifer International's "Read to Feed," a program in which an individual child or a group of children find financial sponsors and then read a designated amount.

The money they earn goes to Heifer International to provide education, tools and livestock to feed millions of families around the globe (learn more at Heifer.org).

Donate your time

While it’s important to donate money whenever we can, it’s also important to give time out of our busy schedules to help others.

Take your children with you when you volunteer at a local homeless shelter, food drive, animal shelter or school fundraiser, and deviate from your own schedule to do something special with your child sometimes.

Children pick up on our subtle clues as to what’s important, and that’s how they will invest their time as they grow into adults.

Take care of the environment

One simple way to teach children to give is to teach them to be kind to the earth.

Start a recycling program at your child’s school or pick up trash together. Grow a garden in your backyard or volunteer to work in a community garden. Donate some of the produce you harvest 
to a local soup kitchen.

You’ll help others in need and reduce your carbon footprint at the same time.

Recently my own children and I volunteered during an annual waterway cleanup near our community. When we cleared a creek of litter with other helpers, it made an impression on my son, Andrew, 8, who felt a sense of accomplishment when he realized he was helping keep a habitat clean for creek life.

Now he wants to adopt a stream to help monitor the quality of waterways in our community.

Keep it simple

I often feel overwhelmed when I consider all of the people and organizations that need help.

But teaching children to help others includes more than donating time and money. Let someone in front of you at the grocery checkout line or let other drivers go first in a crowded parking lot.

Smile and say please and thank you to restaurant servers, store clerks, mail carriers and trash collectors. I tell my children how much those particular employees improve our lives. Always look for opportunities to model kindness and compassion, and children will do the same.

Make giving part of everyday life

The Wright family makes it a point to practice Random Acts of Kindness throughout the year.

One day Brandi Wright and her daughter Vivien, 8, placed quarters in the rental slots of Aldi’s grocery carts for other shoppers. Vivien and her father, Anthony, gave out helium balloons to strangers in front of Walmart just to brighten their day. 

“One woman gave Vivien a donation to help pay for the cost of the balloons,” Wright says. “Vivien and her dad bought more balloons and gave more away."

Sarah Crupi, a mother of five, teaches her children to be considerate when they visit others by including younger children when playing, helping the hostess and picking up after themselves. 

“I’ve heard several moms specifically request my children to attend an event because they know that they can count on them to contribute and be helpful. That is super rewarding to me as a mother!”

Give all year

Last year during the holidays, I did my annual sweep, looking for cans of food that had sat in the pantry for months and clothes that were ready to go to Goodwill. As I did this, it occurred to me that more than consciously meeting someone’s need, I was treating giving like an end-of-the-year afterthought. I realized that if I really wanted my children to have giving spirits, I needed to give year round and enlist their help.

Now my children and I pick out some non-perishable food at the grocery routinely and put it in the cart. Then we take it to a church that has a food pantry.

Every season we go through outgrown clothes and toys and they help choose what to give away. We talk about who might be a good recipient for the items and where we should take them. I want my children to understand that giving to others is a way of life, not just something we do once a year.

Every day there are opportunities in the world around us to give. Choose one of them and start down the road of lifelong giving with your child today. 

Janeen Lewis is a freelance writer and mom of two who has a heart for feeding the hungry and helping clean up litter in her community. She has been published in Chicken Soup for the Soul: The Multitasking Mom's Survival Guide and GreenPrints: The Weeder's Digest.