Nancy Pratt is, to put it mildly, something of a planner. Interviewed for this article in mid-March, she had already enrolled her two boys, ages five and nine, in every one of the day camps they’d be attending this summer. “I keep a copy of last year’s schedule in my designated ‘summer’ folder,” she says, “and then I refer to it to plan for the next year.”
Do you even have to wonder if this highly organized woman owns a label maker? (She does.) But, even as prepared as she is for the onslaught of summer planning, she acknowledges that it’s challenging to have summer camp enrollment deadlines arriving earlier each year. “When I enrolled my oldest in Humane Society summer camp last Valentine’s Day, I thought, ‘this is just too early.’”
Endless summer drives (not the good kind)
The Golden Valley resident admits that, no matter how hard she tries, summer usually throws her a few curveballs. The former advertising executive and current stay-at-home mom says that her greatest source of summertime stress is driving: “Because of my kids’ four-year age span, they are almost always enrolled in two different activities. So by the time I drop them both off in the morning, it seems as if it’s time to pull out of the driveway and do pickups for the afternoon. By September, I feel as if I’ve spent my whole summer driving in a loop around Golden Valley.”
She also has learned from hard experience that all those fun day camps seem to dry up around August, and even the community pool closes early to accommodate college students’ schedules. “I always make sure to save some of our favorite activities, like a visit to the Science Museum, for August,” she says.
Pratt aims, she says, for a balanced mix of activities and downtimes, and says that the boys are usually enrolled in a structured activity for half the summer—or, the way she figures it, about two weeks out of every four. “If they have three weeks of activities in a row, they get too tired, but after two weeks of just hanging around together, they start to argue more,” she observes.
Why summer can be challenging
Increased arguments between siblings can be one of the many signs of increased summer stress, says Natalie Kendrick [no relation to the author], the Family Focused Program Supervisor at Washburn Center for Children, and a licensed marriage and family therapist. Herself the parent of two girls, ages four and eight, Kendrick says that both working and stay-at-home parents can face challenges in what is typically considered an “easier” time of year for families.
“Kids are usually super excited for summer and parents are usually less so,” she says. “The parents I talk with tell me about feeling as if they have three full months to deal with issues like boredom, rising tensions, and sibling issues. Often, when kids experience unpredictability in their schedules, they can become anxious or irritable.”
One of the biggest behavioral impacts can stem from a change of regular sleep schedules. Parents often relax bedtime rules once school is out, and then find themselves—and their kids—feeling overly tired when morning rolls around and everyone needs to leave the house for work or day camp.
Keeping busy
Many parents try to keep kids busy. Kristin Rinker Kowler, of southwest Minneapolis, says, “As soon as our kids were seven years old, they started sleep-away camp. Last year, Emmet, who is now 17, was away most of the summer working at Camp Menogyn or on trail. When the kids were younger, I had a flexible schedule at work, but summer planning still required me to create a spreadsheet and rely on many car pool buddies. Both boys were taught to ride their bikes and take the bus safely to their activities. Summer was challenging, but they also learned so much, did cool stuff, and learned to be independent, too.”
Elizabeth Mayotte, who lives in Hopkins, says she learned the hard way that she needed to schedule her kids’ activities in advance. “When our oldest, Robert, was in second grade, we scoffed at signing him up for summer activities, believing that he could have fun with the neighborhood kids in the summer, as we had done growing up. It turned out to be a horrible and lonely summer for him, since all the other kids were signed up straight through the summer and no one was around to play. From then on, we started scheduling summer activities as early as February and March, so that he wouldn’t have another summer like that one. Still, it’s sad to think that those relaxed, unscheduled summers of my youth have disappeared.”
Fight boredom with chores and reading
“We hear a lot from parents about how much kids complain about boredom. I suggest that parents begin the summer by engaging children in helping out around the house. There should be a daily chore list for everyone, and tasks should be completed before privileges like screen time are allowed,” Mayotte says. While the activities will vary by age and ability, she suggests they include chores like making beds, helping with meal preparation, or weeding in the garden.
Summer can also be a great time to learn something new. “Consider teaching your child a craft or skill over the summer. If grandma knows how to knit, ask her to teach your kids. Or ask every child to make a photo album of their summer activities,” she says. She also suggests that kids keep their brains sharp—and allow their bodies time to relax—with a mandatory period of daily reading. “I’d suggest starting with about 20 minutes for second graders, and moving up from there.”
Resources for the best summer ever
Make a list. Before the last day of school, ask your kids to make a list of all the things they’d like to do over the summer. It can be as simple as “Have a lemonade stand,” or a personal goal such as “learn to ride my bike without training wheels.” Keep the list in a prominent place and be sure to check off activities as they’re completed. (Come September, tuck the list in a scrapbook or photo album.)
The gift of boredom. You don’t necessarily have to rush in to amuse your child the minute you hear that first “I’m bored” complaint of the summer. Give your kids some time to feel bored, and you might be surprised at the creative activities they can devise for themselves.
Listen to your child. Everyone needs the right balance between activity and downtime. As a parent, you can help your child achieve that. “If your child says, ‘I’m too tired for soccer practice’ every night, you might consider dialing down the activity level a bit,” Kendrick says.
Communicate the plan. Keep a family calendar that shows the dates of planned camps, family trips, and weekends at the cabin. Kendrick says she makes sure to include pre-arranged “nothing” days for her family, in which no activities are scheduled, and she marks those on the summer schedule.
Consistency can help. If your child becomes anxious when there is no set schedule, consider keeping things a little more tightly structured this summer. Consistent bedtimes, mealtimes, and chore times can help kids feel more secure.
