Having a baby involves making decisions—and often, making many more complicated decisions than your mother or grandmother ever had to contend with. With the advent of ultrasound technology, there came the never-before-necessary decision of choosing whether or not to learn the gender of your baby. And now, with our current “make everything an occasion” culture, there comes another decision after that fateful ultrasound—whether or not to host a gender reveal party.
For many couples, it seems like a no-brainer—we can have all our friends around to find out the baby’s gender at the same time we do, and then simultaneously post the results and our emotional reactions on TikTok, Twitter, Tumblr, Instagram, YouTube, and Facebook. What’s not to love, right?
“Too much information” is the reaction from a vocal “no reveal” contingent, whose feelings have been summed up in a recent New Yorker magazine commentary by George Packer, “Narcissism in Pink and Blue,” [tinyurl.com/7lpe3e6] in which he called the parties “a manufactured custom and an instant tradition,” and railed against them as an opportunity for couples to “take a private moment made possible by science and oblige others to join in, with the result—as in so many invented rituals of our day—that the focus turns from where it ought to be (in this case, the baby) to the self. At a bris or christening, the emotional emphasis falls on the arrival of a new life in the embrace of family and community. At a gender-reveal party, the camera is on the expectant father tearing up at the sight of pink cake.”
Growing trend
Frothing New Yorker critics aside, gender reveal parties are a trend that just keeps growing. The first YouTube videos started popping up about five years ago, and the walls of Pinterest boards hang heavy with all sorts of clever ideas for party games, decorations, themed refreshments, and reveal methods. Those range from the traditional “cut into the cake and see what color the icing is on the inside,” to revealing through opening a box filled with color-coded helium balloons, breaking open a piñata, turning on the lights of a Christmas tree, tossing cups of pink or blue confetti, or asking the guests to squirt masked-over cans of colored silly string at the expectant couple. And then, of course, to take a picture. And shoot a video. And post, post, post those results all over the interwebs, for the viewing enjoyment of every far-flung friend and cousin four-times-removed, no matter where they may be.
A private moment, a public celebration
Expectant couple Jillian and Eric Anderson of southwest Minneapolis participated in a gender reveal party this summer, but they also chose to share the information privately beforehand. “My sister really wanted to host a party for us, since her kids are three and five, and she missed out on this trend,” Jillian says. “We went to the ultrasound the Friday before and got two envelopes with the information on the baby’s gender sealed inside. We took one envelope to my cousin, who had volunteered to bake the cake and keep the results a secret, and kept the other envelope for ourselves.
“On the Sunday morning of the party, we had breakfast for two and opened the envelope together. We wanted time to ourselves as a husband and wife to share the information. Also, we wanted to be able to focus on our guests at the party later that day. Even with that advance warning, I still cried when I cut the cake at the party because it was still such an emotional moment. My husband cried, too, and he’s not a crier.”
Let’s hear it for the boy
For the Andersons, the party was a fun way to have guests share in their happy news, and engage in some good-natured rivalry. The event featured “Team Boy” and “Team Girl” signs, bunches of pink and blue balloons, and even color-coded drink cups for the guests’ beverages. Activities included the opportunity to make wagers in a “Baby Pool” that predicted the date and time of the baby’s birth.
Guests were told to wear pink or blue to the event, depending on which gender they hoped the baby would be. “From day one, I thought I was having a boy. I always try to predict the gender of my friends and family when they’re expecting, and I’m always wrong, so all my cousins wore pink to the party, based on my track record. Eric’s mom wanted a grandson, so she brought blue pom-poms and was a ‘boy cheerleader’ before we cut the cake and announced the gender,” Jillian says. When gender was revealed, “Let’s Hear It for the Boy” was blasted through loudspeakers into the backyard gathering.
While some couples enjoy discovering the news at the same time as their guests, others choose to use the party as more an announcement than a surprise. Julie Brown Price, of Eden Prairie, recently attended a gender reveal party for her first grandchild. Her son and daughter-in-law sent an invitation with two pictures — one of them sitting in a tree, the other an antique baby carriage. The text read, “Zac and Christine sitting in a tree, what gender their baby will be?” At the party, the couple cut into a layer of cake to reveal the blue frosting in the middle layer. “They held it up like that scene in Lion King,” Price recalls. After the reveal, the parents-to-be led guests to a closet in the nursery, displaying all the boy-specific clothes (including many tiny team jerseys) that had already been purchased. They also took the opportunity to announce the baby-to-be’s name—Cohen.
“A fun reason to celebrate”
As she reflects back on the event, Anderson is glad she let her sister convince her to participate in a gender reveal party. “I didn’t know if guests would get into it, or if they thought it would be silly, but they loved it. Having them dress in ‘team colors’ was a good idea to get everyone involved. They even took team pictures together as groups. So it was a good way to start connections with many people who were meeting each other for the first time, and encourage them to talk to one another.”
Anderson concludes that revealing her baby’s gender was, all in all, a worthwhile reason to celebrate with friends and family. “I’ve been hearing more about these parties, and I’ll admit that I was a little bit worried about the ‘cheese’ factor, but it ended up being so much fun,” she says.
RESOURCES: Gender reveal cake bakeries
Most local bakers are already familiar with this trend and will be willing to work with you on a gender reveal cake. Here are some good places to start:
Cake Diva
Minneapolis
612-998-9592
Cocoa & Fig
Minneapolis & Edina
612-333-1485
Edina
952-942-7628
Wuollet Bakery
Minneapolis, St. Paul, Edina, Robbinsdale, and Wayzata
612-381-9400
