Forbidden fruit
Question: My wife and I are at odds in determining the amount of candy to give our 4-year-old. I am concerned that he will develop poor eating habits, and she is concerned that if she does not supply him with a daily amount of candy he will overindulge himself once he is on his own. Our society does not reinforce proper eating habits, and I think fruits can satisfy most of those sweet cravings and still supply some vitamins and minerals. Your thoughts?
Answer: With young children, it can be difficult to know how to handle those special treats. Your wife’s concern about the “forbidden fruit” phenomenon (or forbidden candy, in this case) is not unfounded.
Telling a child he can’t have something often does make that item even more desirable, but that does not mean a child should be given candy every day. It’s up to parents to set reasonable guidelines for a child’s diet, just as for other aspects of a child’s behavior. It also is important to explain the reasons for those guidelines so, as a child grows older, he has a framework for choosing wisely on his own. Of course, as with all areas of behavior, the example parents set with their own behavior will be the most powerful lesson of all.
Like you, I prefer to offer candy only as an occasional treat. I do not like to see children believe they are entitled to candy every single day. However, I believe the most important issue here is the overall eating pattern you and your wife are helping your son establish.
If your son is being encouraged to eat a well-balanced diet, including plenty of fruits and vegetables — and if he is given a small piece of candy after a healthful meal — then it is unlikely that any harm is being done. But if he’s eating large amounts of candy or if the candy is reducing his appetite for nutritious foods, he could be headed for trouble. Eating habits established early in life have long-term consequences for health and nutrition. High-calorie, empty-calorie diets in the early years of life are associated with obesity, both in childhood and at later ages.
So, what can you do? If your son is aware that you and his mom disagree about the candy, you’re at risk of being the bad guy — the candy police, so to speak. But, if you’re willing to roll up your sleeves, you can seize an opportunity here to broaden your son’s (and perhaps your wife’s) sense of what a special treat is — and have some fun at the same time.
As the weather warms up, how about engaging your son in making ice-cube-tray popsicles with real fruit juice. For something different, try adding a fresh strawberry or raspberry to each cube, so he gets the fiber of whole fruit. Or use the blender to mix up a fruit smoothie, letting your son create his own concoction with fresh or frozen fruits, a little yogurt and a small amount of his favorite juice. Or fill a small bowl with vanilla yogurt and use it as a dip for chunks of fruit or graham crackers. These are just a few of the treats that have satisfied the sweet tooth of youngsters around our house over the years and provided some nutritional value at the same time.
I’m sure you and your son can create your own recipes or find other nutritious ideas in one of many children’s cookbooks available at your public library. And I hope your wife will agree to pull back on the candy at least part of the time and join you in exploring more healthful alternatives.
Dr. Erickson and her daughter can be heard every Sunday, from 2–4 p.m., on “Good Enough Moms,” on FM107.1 and at FM1071.com.
