Q: My son, age 12, says he feels like he is a girl. He wants to know how he would go about living as a female. What is your advice from a medical perspective?
A: It can be confusing and overwhelming when kids at any age question their gender identity or identify as transgender.
Unfortunately, transgender and gender-diverse kids experience significant stigma and health disparities. The key to protecting them and helping build resilience is parental love and support.
The first step is to reassure your children that they can safely discuss their gender concerns with you and that you love them unconditionally, regardless of their gender identity or expression.
In this pre-pubertal/peri-pubertal age, the message we give to parents is to “support without steering.” Let your child explore the expression of their gender identity to see what feels best. This may include allowing your child to select clothing, hairstyle and — if they insist — a preferred name and pronoun that align with their gender identity.
If puberty is starting or has started for your child, there is the option to hit “pause” on puberty through the use of reversible puberty-blocking medications.
Pausing puberty can give children time to reflect on their gender identity, without them having to simultaneously go through the permanent changes of puberty. This type of treatment is typically combined with psychotherapy and is undertaken in consultation with a gender health specialist to help children as they explore their identity and expression.
Children’s Minnesota offers a Gender Health Program to help kids and their families. You can call 612-813-7950 to make an appointment with specialists in pediatric and adolescent gender health to ask questions and/or explore the option of puberty-pausing medication.
LEARN MORE!
Parents can learn more about this topic and find resources at tinyurl.com/hrc-trans-kids.
Dr. Gigi Chawla is a board-certified pediatrician and the chief of general pediatrics at Children’s Minnesota.
