As the school year comes to an end, many parents wonder if their child is ready to go without daycare. In Minnesota this decision is entirely up to the parents. While some states have laws specifying at what age a child may be left unsupervised, Minnesota does not.
“Parents need to assess carefully the child’s confidence, the responsibility and common sense the child demonstrates, and specific skills the child has learned in order to manage a variety of situations that can come up,” said Dr. Martha Erickson, developmental psychologist and co-host of “Good Enough Moms” on St. Paul’s FM 107.1. “It’s always good to ease into leaving the child alone by increasing responsibilities when you’re around, as well as leaving the child alone for very brief times while you are nearby.”
Angela Spinler, a mother of two in Osseo, began allowing her oldest, now 17, to stay alone for short amounts of time around the age of 9 while she ran errands around town. From there, he began walking home from school, calling Spinler as soon as he got in, and staying alone until she got home from work.
One situation in particular reassured her: “After school he called me one day and said ‘I’m just calling to let you know that I’m not calling you at my normal time because I had to stay after school for help.’ When I knew that he picked up on that, then I knew that he could think through a situation and knew to stay in communication with me,” Spinler said.
By the time her son was 11, she decided to let him stay alone while she was at work during the summer, knowing she had other options if it did not work out. He called her when he woke up, around noon, and she called him before leaving work around 3 p.m. “My daughter [who’s 3] — she’s a little bit more of a daredevil, so I’m anticipating her not being able to do those things until she’s a little bit older,” Spinler said.
Many kids over the age of 10 feel too old for a “babysitter.” Dr. Erickson suggests activities to keep your kids busy and give them the independence they crave so they are not staying completely alone all day throughout the summer. Summer is a great time to find a class, program, or volunteering opportunity where kids can follow their interests and meet other kids. Volunteering at a day camp, childcare center, or sports program can give teens and tweens the chance to teach younger children and build confidence.
Dr. Erickson said it is important to set clear rules for children staying alone. Be specific about who can come into the home. Spinler did not allow her son to have friends over while adults were not there, but allowed him to leave the house. She set up parameters where her son could ride his bike in the neighborhood: He could go to the local grocery store, but places past a certain street were out of bounds.
“He could ride a bike over to his friends house, but he didn’t go off and ride bikes through town during the day. He had to wait until I got home,” Spinler said. As for food, easy-to-make things like sandwiches, leftovers, and microwaveable meals work well. Make sure your child knows who to contact in case of emergency and has numbers available.
