Everyone in my household has a December birthday but me, which means by Christmas day, I’ve stuffed enough garbage bags full of wrapping paper and tripped over enough plastic toys to leave me depressed about consumerism until New Year’s.
The average family forks over more than $1,000 on holiday-related spending. This year, retailers are already seeing visions of a less consumer-y holiday season dancing in their heads. The National Retail Federation predicts “meager sales gains” of 2.2 percent, which means annual holiday sales will add up to just $200 billion! The horror!
But seriously, what’s so wrong with that, especially in a year of slow economic growth and trouble on Wall Street that has many of us padding our cash cushions “just in case”?
For advice on how to convince kids that a toned-down holiday season can be just as special as one with expensive toys piled under the tree, I spoke with William Doherty, a professor of family social science at the University of Minnesota. He was involved in founding the group Birthdays Without Pressure (www.birthdayswithoutpressure.org), a collective made up of parents and professionals who decided to rebel against over-the-top birthday celebrations by bringing attention to the issue and sharing reasonable ideas for making a child’s special day special. I figured some of his ideas on birthdays would translate to the holiday season.
Bill, how did we get to this place in society where we need a group such as Birthdays Without Pressure?
We’re raising a generation of entitled children who give their list of 15 items and expect to get nearly all of them.
What if it’s a financial problem such as a job loss or debt that is forcing you to make this change? How do you explain it to your kids?
Sometimes it’s helpful to have an external reason to do what you already want to do. You don’t want to alarm children. Say: “this is a time lots of families, including our family, are spending their money well and saving money because there’s a lot happening within the [financial] world.” Parents who are feeling the pressure of the economy now can use this as an opportunity to talk with their children about the importance of balance at this time of year.
How can you expect kids to react?
Put it in terms of the whole family, not just the child. [Say:] “Christmas can get too busy and be too many things. We think this is a good time to … think of how we like to do celebrations as a family.” Some parents say, “Let’s give presents to charity.” If it’s put in a positive, values-oriented way, children do okay with that. If it’s put in a kind of grumpy way — “You have too much junk” — then kids don’t respond well. The big thing is if this is part of your values, say so. Otherwise, your 16-year-old says, “I see we’re out of recession this year, can we make up for last year?”
Kara McGuire is a mom and personal finance columnist for the Minneapolis Star Tribune.
