If you’re a parent of a young girl, you’ve probably noticed she could read your mood early on in life. Research shows us that, right from birth, girls are drawn to human faces and boys to the action of a mobile. Boys are live-action oriented, have immense energy, and like verbs.
Even an active “tomboy” female doesn’t reach the same intensity. Boys even draw action into their artwork. A girl’s picture will likely have more color, depict friendships, caring, and details in the facial expressions. Boys like to use blue, silver, and gray to show off cars, action figures, and games. Girls tend to be more process-oriented and – can you guess? – boys are action-oriented.
Dr. Leonard Sax, the author of Why Gender Matters: What Parents and Teachers Need to Know About the Emerging Science of Sex Differences, suggests that we need to recognize this difference in gender hardwiring in order to understand the cues our children give regarding how, what, and with what they like to play. Or, simply, we need to follow our child’s lead.
Through the ages, boys and girls have been defined by their play, their behavior, and the life roles they adopt, or in other words, there has always been an innate difference between girls and boys. In an effort to shift from these gender-specific stereotypes, gender-neutral childrearing (the belief that there are only “shades of difference” between genders) entered the parenting scene. Gender-neutral childrearing suggested we encourage our children to play with toys generally associated with the opposite sex. The belief was this would help boys learn to nurture and girls to be more assertive.
There’s no problem with that belief. You should cuddle with your boy often and teach your girl to throw a baseball, but chances are they’ll still behave differently. In just the last decade, the science of gender differences has exploded. This approach allows the concept of the hardwiring of the brain to guide us in understanding how it is that girls and boys are different in their approaches to learning, the way the express themselves (in relationships, art, music, and physical play), and so much more. Girls hear better than boys (about 17 percent as children and 20 percent as adults). Girls also see more color and texture. And this is just the tip of the iceberg!
Dr. Sax suggests that, by knowing and using this information with your children, you will “see” their inherent differences as well as each child’s uniqueness and gain a deeper understanding of how to support your child’s success.
Vicki Thrasher Cronin is the director of community and civic engagement at Ready 4 K. She is an award-winning parent educator who has worked in the field of early childhood care and education for nearly 30 years.
