Q: The kids told me our babysitter was texting while she was driving the car. When I confronted her, she claimed she only texts at stoplights. How can I better address this with her?
A: Despite safer cars and better road conditions, almost 6,000 teenagers are killed in auto accidents every year. According to a study by the National Highway Traffic Safety Administration, close to 80 percent of crashes result from driver inattention. Dialing, texting — even just listening to a conversation on a cell phone — can distract drivers, and cell phone use is one of the most common driver distractions on today’s roadways.
Aside from being dangerous, driving while using a cell phone may also be against the law. Minnesota, Alaska, New Jersey, and Washington state all have laws making it illegal to text and drive, while five states have enacted laws forbidding talking on a cell phone while driving. Seventeen states restrict cell phone use for novice drivers.
Talk to your babysitter about the importance of safe driving — and staying off the cell phone when she’s on the road with your children in her care. Let her know that a cell phone in the car is for emergencies only and should never be used while in transit. To reinforce your message, consider using a parent-teen driving contract.
Finally, make sure to thank your children for tell you about the incident and let them know they did the right thing. Include them in any contract or talks you have with the sitter so everyone is on the same — safe — page.
Addicted to the internet
Q: My son is constantly trying to negotiate more online game time, and his behavior seems obsessive. Can the Internet be addictive?
A: Yes. Like many other things, the Internet can offer an escape and distraction from the pressures and responsibilities of real life. This can be especially appealing for teenagers. A preoccupation with anything, including the Internet, is never a good thing and can impact social and psychological development.
Some kids become obsessed with instant messaging or e-mail, others with an online game, and still others with pornography or online gaming sites. Look for these warning signs if you’re concerned that your child may be addicted to the Internet:
• Irritability when online access is not available;
• Preference for Internet activities over other activities he or she used to enjoy;
• Constant conversation about Internet activities and games;
• Sneaky behavior to access the Internet without permission; and/or
• Preoccupation with online activities even when he or she is not online.
Parents can help kids strike a balance by following through with these simple steps:
Check Internet history. Sometimes kids are addicted to one particular aspect of the Internet — e-mail or an online game for instance. To best understand what your child is doing online, check your browser’s by dropping down the “History” tab on the toolbar.
Talk about it. Help kids understand that too much online time isn’t healthy. Let them share their feelings so you can get a clearer picture of why they are feeling compelled to spend so much time online, and come up with a plan together.
Restrict access. Don’t ban access completely — the Internet is an important tool for school and social connections. However, you’ll need to make sure you set clear limits. You may need to carefully supervise computer use and shut down the computer or unplug the keyboard or mouse when computer time is over. Know where your child may also be going online (school, library, friends’ homes), and tell others about your concerns.
Encourage alternative activities. Help him or her choose activities that will encourage social and physical activity, perhaps with the help of the school guidance counselor. Use family activities, like after-dinner walks, board games, or tech-free family getaways.
Seek out support. Online addictions can sometimes be a sign of other problems like anger or depression. If your child continues to engage in risky behaviors to access the Internet, including lying about his or her use, sneaking online behind your back, or breaking other rules to gain access, contact a professional counselor.
Set a good example. As always, parents are influential role models when it comes to computer use. Be aware of the time you spend online. Follow the boundaries you set as a family, and shut the computer down at a certain time each evening.
Sharon Miller Cindrich is the author of E-Parenting: Keeping Up With Your Tech-Savvy Kids, published by Random House.
Know the law
Visit the Governors’ Highway Safety Association at ghsa.org
Sign a contract
At AllstateTeenDriver.com you’ll find a driving contract and a variety of other great resources to help teens drive more safely
