Real Mom :: Therese Tennessen
Therese Tennessen and husband Gordon Weil lost their son Josh in 2003 to cancer when he was three years old. The pair now savors every day with Grace, who just started kindergarten, and Danny, who the couple adopted from Guatemala. Therese learns about parenting from younger mothers while giving back to Children’s Hospital, which was with the family throughout Josh’s treatment.
Tell me about what got you through Josh’s sickness and eventual death.
Children’s Hospital has an incredible support system. I remember telling friends that I couldn’t go through it, and I can’t do this. Now, I always try to think, “If you have enough time to complain, you don’t have anything to complain about.” As soon as Josh woke up from surgery, my number one job was to make him happy.
You were blogging a few hours after Josh’s death. Was that helpful to you?
Part of it was getting out what I was feeling inside, and part of it was feeling the need to remember what was happening. I was able to tell everyone in our life what happened without having to share the story over and over. I felt everyone around me while I was writing, and that was very comforting.
Tell me about Dinosaur Days.
Josh was big on dinosaurs and trains. We give out little dinosaur trinkets and treat bags, one for each kid staying in the hospital and one for each sibling, because they sometimes feel left out. It gets bigger and bigger each year, and Trader Joe’s started donating cupcakes.
We also host a get-together the Sunday before the anniversary of his death, which is December 13. We have food and share memories and invite just about everyone we know to celebrate the time we had with Josh. His death was just one day of his life. The rest were full of joy and that’s what he left with us.
Tell me about being a Midlife Mama.
I’m tired all the time. I’m sure I’m the oldest kindergarten mom. I’ve learned a lot from mothers who are young enough to be my children. It’s a little isolating, but I do have a good group of friends who are 10 to 15 years younger than me. I think about starting a Midlife Mama group, where we could hang out and take a nap before we go home.
Real Life is an opinion page and not necessarily the opinion of this magazine. Want to tell us a little bit about your life? Email kstoehr@mnpubs.com.
