Last month Minnesota Parent asked two families go on a “media diet” for a week to see how they handled — and what they learned from — going without the electronics that have become commonplace in all our lives. That meant no computers, television, video games, texting, or MP3 players.
We knew it was a lot to ask, but the weight of the experiment became clear when volunteers Dave and Kathy Blake explained that depriving their kids of electronics is normally their go-to form of punishment. “If they don’t do their homework or their grades slip, that’s our main tool for grounding them,” explained Dave.
Rather than punishing the Blakes of Elk River — Kathy, Dave, Alex (12), Sydney (11), and Madeline (1) — and the Fredericks of Chisholm — Jannaya, Pete, Ben (14), Tim (13), and Autumn (21 months) — we wanted to know what two Minnesota families would gain by turning everything off.
The build up
The week before we asked the Fredericks and the Blakes to tune out, each family member kept track of their media habits to see how plugged in they actually were. For both families television was the main draw above all else, with video games coming in second for all three boys. Both mothers were their respective households main Internet users, while phones and texting played little to no part in the lives of either the Blakes or the Fredericks.
While both families volunteered for the media diet, they admitted they were nervous and reluctant about giving up their electronics. “I didn’t want to give up my TV,” says Jannaya, who decided to sacrifice because, as she said, “I definitely wanted to see how much time we were consuming by using electronics.”
At the Blake house, parents Kathy and Dave had kicked around the idea but hadn’t ever unplugged completely. “We talked about doing it for a couple of years and this experiment gave us the accountability to really keep track,” says Kathy.
Alex and Sydney, who were familiar with their parents’ prior interest in unplugging, were concerned their parents would enjoy the peace and quiet of the diet a little too much. “I was afraid our parents would like it so much that the TV would be off forever!” says Sydney. Alex reacted by playing video games for six hours straight.
Going cold turkey
When the families unplugged, their energies were redirected outside. (We decided not to be cruel and disconnect families in the heart of winter.) “We did a lot more outdoors things, like playing horseshoes together,” says Jannaya. “The boys would play with their friends and their dad and I would be outside with Autumn instead of being in front of the TV with her.”
The Blakes also found more time to focus on their toddler Madeline as well. “With no TV it was better for her because we were paying a lot more attention to her and playing games, so she seemed more fulfilled,” says Dave. Much like the Fredericks, the Blakes spent their time outside: The family played a game of basketball, wandered down to their neighborhood park for tennis, and had a fire in the yard. When inside the house they turned to music to bring them together, dancing with Madeline and talking about the day.
Interestingly, while the kids easily adapted to the unplugged lifestyle and abstained the entire week, the parents admitted to cheating on several occasions. At the Frederick house Jannaya caught herself checking her email just a couple days into the experiment — and then continued to do it throughout the week. “I was selfish and didn’t want to give it up,” she explains, “Though I knew what I was doing was wrong.”
Dave Blake had a ready excuse for his slip-up. “Tom Watson was about to win the British Open!” he exclaims. “But then he didn’t, and then I really felt like I’d wasted my time.”
Lessons learned
So what did the Blakes and the Fredericks learn from this experiment? Exactly what you think: Without electronics vying for their attention, they spent more time with each other. And even though that’s what both families knew they would discover, it was the quality of the time together that proved eye-opening. “Before this experiment we were all home a lot, but we weren’t really together, if that makes sense,” says Jannaya. “We’re not the ideal family that we’d like to be as far as spending quality time together.”
The Blakes felt the same way about a need to be more intentional with their time together. “We’re all in the same house, but the video games are in the basement so that’s where Alex is, I’m watching sports in the living room, and Kathy and Sydney are watching their shows in the kitchen,” says Dave. “These days we spent together being a part of each others’ lives instead of in different rooms were a lot more fulfilling.”
Both families binged on television and video games once their weeklong hiatus was over, but they say they learned positive habits from unplugging that will hopefully be incorporated permanently. Neither family would opt for a technology-free lifestyle, but Dave’s guilt over his five-hour TV binge following the media diet caused him to confess to Sydney, “That has been the worst night I’ve had in a week because I didn’t spend any time with you guys.”
Even with the guilt and missed Twins games, the Blakes and Fredericks both recommend other families try the media diet, even if it’s only to shed light on how much time is being spent watching TV or gaming. “It brought to light how much we watch TV and how much time we’re wasting by not enjoying as much time as we could together — and I like TV,” says Dave. “But everything in moderation.”
Monica Wright is assistant editor of Minnesota Parent.
