Little is more stressful than the winter holiday season. Every year, we hear about all the ways we overindulge in gifts (go over budget), food (go way over calorie limits), travel plans (overschedule ourselves and pay for overpriced tickets). We even hear about strategies to help us avoid overindulging and we go right ahead and do what we do every year, feeling certain that we simply cannot change the patterns, traditions, and habits of years past.
Healthy families can choose to celebrate the traditions of our families of origin and our cultures that support the core values of our nuclear families. That means your family. The one that you are responsible for, the one in which you just knew, when you were a child, what you’d do differently when you were the parent. Now is the time. This is the year to review the season and determine what is important to your family and then make the necessary changes.
Start out with a list. Not a shopping list, a list of what your family does every year. Make two columns, one for the activities and traditions that support your nuclear family and one for the ones that compromise your family’s sanity or push the budget. Remember, these lists represent your family, not just you. Now, check out the lists with the family during a conversation at mealtime or in the car. Ask family members what is most special to them about holiday celebrations. This conversation will also provide you with an opportunity to get a snapshot of how the values you cherish are taking shape with the children and where clarification and teaching need to be focused.
Now you will need to revise your list and come to grips with the changes you will need to make this year and ones that can be eased into over time. You are the parent now. You know your family. You know what works for your family and what stresses your family; that’s all the rationale you need to make the changes for your family’s health and well-being. Each year there will be special situations to be taken into consideration as you make your family holiday plan, and being honest with yourself, your family, and your friends will help take the sting out of difficult decisions.
Now is the time for your family to take action. Pull back the reins on out-of-control, overindulgent holiday seasons, while modeling and teaching your children your family’s core values and how to express them. What you choose to do now is building the foundation for your children’ future. What do you want it to look like?
Peace.
Vicki Thrasher Cronin is the director of community and civic engagement at Ready 4 K. She has worked early childhood education for 30 years.
