It wasn’t until I became a mother that I also became a decent hugger. I’m fairly reticent and usually don’t impinge on personal space unless I’ve been invited. I’m not sure what this says about me, but those people who can just walk up to each other and hug have always drawn my admiration and envy.
But somehow, when my daughter was born, a lot changed. That “power of touch,” as writer Kelly Bartlett discusses in her feature article, is a driving factor in the emotional connection you have with your kids. Those first weeks, with my daughter falling asleep on my chest not only bonded us, but transformed something within me, too. There were afternoons when I would sit for hours, just holding her while she slept, unwilling to put her down to even pick up a book. My attention was so focused, it didn’t matter that I wasn’t doing anything else.
My husband says he clearly remembers the first time our daughter chose to lean against me, as if I was just any old object to lean against. Now, that physical gift was transferred. She’d reach for my hand; say “uppa” when she wanted to be held; hold onto my leg when she didn’t want me to leave. These are powerful actions. The bond that is forged through physicality is not just good for our mental health, but is a positive force for our physical health, too.
These days, she still runs to my arms for a hug, and offers hers up when I’m having a bad day. She took my hand recently when we went shopping, and it meant so much to me, I felt overwhelmed with gratitude.
So go ahead, find your little ones, find your partner, find your parents, your friends—and give them each a big hug. Let your kids sit on your lap when you’re reading to them, take your gloomy teenager by the hand when walking to the dinner table—and also show your kids how it’s done by holding your spouse’s hand occasionally when you talk.
Every positive touch says, “I’m here for you”—and for a child, for anyone you love—that means everything.
