Choosing a godparent – or being one – can be a tricky business. Depending on how an individual family looks at it, being a godparent is:
- Something that happens on the day of the baptism and is forgotten after brunch;
- A lifelong obligation to ensure that the child grows up in and does not stray from the family values;
- An emotional, special attachment to a niece, nephew, or family friend that results in unique presents, trips to the zoo, and closeness through childhood with a trusted adult;
- A synonym for guardian in case the parents die, entrusted with raising the children with emotional, physical, spiritual, and financial responsibilities.
The Rev. Michael Arms is an uncle to 28 nieces and nephews but a godparent to only three. “There is a special relationship that’s set up there,” he said. “It’s a supportive role, to provide another help and source of strength. We need all the help we can get.”
A godparent stands with the parents during the baptism within your faith, signifying a unique bond with the baby. Years ago, Arms said, the godfather was the one to hold the baby, and there was an implied responsibility of guardianship.
These days, what does happen if, heaven forbid, a husband and wife jet setting. Off on vacation should perish in a plane crash? Or, more likely, if a drunk hit them on the Crosstown Highway? Minnesota laws specifically allow parents to nominate a guardian for their children. Judges will usually honor the request in the will unless they decide that the proposed guardian is unfit to raise children, according to Ron Sieloff, a St. Paul lawyer.
“If you don’t have a will, somebody has the right to step forward to serve as a guardian., ” Sieloff said. “Sometimes, there are fights about it.”
The relative most commonly nominated is the mother’s sister. Other siblings and grandparents are also often listed. Most wills list a second choice if the first person or couple named is unable to function as a guardian for some reason. The families often work out a reciprocal arrangement whereby they agree to serve as guardians to each other’s children in the event of the death of one of the couples.
When the child is 16 or older, the judge will seriously consider the child’s preference about where to live. Often that preference is based on the school district that the child is used to and from which they would like to graduate. Sieloff advised that the parents’ estate should not be left directly to either the children or the guardians. Letting minor children have control of their own money would be foolish. If the guardians administered the funds left from insurance policies, savings, or other holdings, they’d have to make an annual accounting to the court.
“We always recommend that the money be separated from the guardianship, “Sieloff said because then the transactions are not under the constant supervision of the court.
Often if the guardian can support the children, the estate is just invested and is divided among the children as they reach 18 or 21. Suppose the money is needed to help support the children; it’s most often administered by the guardian of the estate–in other words, somebody the court appoints to keep track of the money to pay for the child’s needs and reserve the rest for an inheritance. If one child had a greater need than the others for special education or medical expenses, the estate administrator could provide for it.
If there’s no will, the state law outlines what will happen to the parents’ estate: children inherit property in equal shares.
