Local Spotlight: Meet Marissa Bader, local children's book author

We are excited to introduce you to Marissa Bader.

Tell us all about you and what inspired you to write your book.

I’m a Minneapolis-based (but St. Paul born!) writer. Writing has always been one of my greatest passions. It’s truly how I make sense of the world, and my place in it (I’ve often said I don’t know what I think until I write it down!). I also believe that even though our stories may be different, when we share our personal narratives with each other, we’re then able to find commonalities that draw us closer together as a community.

As for my professional and educational background, I currently serve as the Twins Editor and mental health writer at Lucie’s List (a survival guide for expectant and new parents), and my writing has also appeared in a variety of publications, including Psychology Today, HuffPost Parents and Twiniversity.com, to name a few. I hold a BA in Journalism and a MA in Marriage and Family Therapy. As for the inspiration behind my new children’s book, The Only Me, from the time my now 6-year-old fraternal twins were born, people often referred to them as “the twins” rather than by their individual names. Soon, being “the twins”, as opposed to Mila and Grace, became their entire identity. This, compounded by people constantly comparing or contrasting them to one another, led them to feel frustrated, unseen, and even inferior to one another. But this problem is not limited only to twins – this happens in all kinds of relationships, from different-aged siblings, to cousins, to friends, to classmates, and so on.

In an article I wrote last year for Lucie’s List about the importance of treating kids like their own people, and learned that when we treat our children like individuals, we show them that we honor and appreciate them for who they are; in turn, this helps boost their sense of identity, confidence, pride and self-assurance.” What an incredible opportunity and responsibility we caregivers have — to help grow and shape our children’s sense of value and self-esteem. The Only Me is a reminder to all caregivers that treating our children uniquely, and praising their individual pursuits, personalities and traits, goes a long way in helping them feel respected, loved and secure throughout their lives.

In addition, this book aims to help all young readers understand they are worthy and valuable just as they are — even if, like The Only Me’s main character, Stella, they’re constantly being measured up to someone else.

The overarching goal of this book is to help young children — not just twins, but all kids — learn that they have value and an identity as individuals, and to honor, appreciate, accept and celebrate their uniqueness and differences.

Tell us all about your book. What can parents/kids expect?

Stella and Paige are 7-year-old fraternal twins who don’t look alike and have very different personalities and interests. Yet even so, people constantly compare them or comment about how strange it is that they’re not more similar. This has Stella feeling frustrated. They may be twins, but that doesn’t make them the same person! Stella wishes people would see her for who she is, and not just as “Stella and Paige” or as “one of the twins.” All of the comparing and contrasting leaves Stella confused about her own identity—who is she outside of her sibling relationship? She also wonders if perhaps she doesn’t measure up to her sister, Paige. Can Stella find a way to accept and value herself for who she is, and realize that she and Paige can each be their own, special and unique people, and still be twins?

This book:

Is perfect for kids trying to find where they belong.
Teaches the importance of honoring, accepting and celebrating our differences and unique selves in all kinds of relationships.
A great resource to help young readers with feelings of value and worth.
Helpful for kids struggling with identity and self-esteem challenges.
Ideal for ages 4-10.

What do you love about the Twin Cities? Why is this a great community for local authors?

I feel so blessed to live in the Twin Cities, and truly can’t imagine living anywhere else. I did spend my 20’s in New York City, which was an incredible experience, but coming back to Minnesota was the best decision I could have made. Especially being a mom with three young children; I love raising them in such a warm, wonderful and accepting community.

In addition, the Twin Cities has such a strong artistic and creative pulse that I’m constantly inspired by. We have so many incredible local authors, wonderful libraries, charming bookstores, active writing communities and more. I love that this is all so accessible here — as opposed to when I was living in New York, and felt like the writing and author community was so vast and out of my reach. The community here in the Twin Cities is engaging, warm and inviting, and I feel honored to be a part of it.

What is the best way for the Minnesota Parent community to support your book?

You can purchase my book locally at Excelsior Bay Books and Red Balloon; you can purchase it on Amazon or on Bookshop.org.

How does your book inspire parents and their children?

I truly hope my book inspires parents to accept and honor their children for the unique individuals they are, and for children to embrace their individuality, recognize their incredible strengths (and realize how much they have to offer the world) and learn to love and accept themselves for exactly who they are.

Tell us about you! Your family, why you love being a parent. What brings you joy?

My husband and I live in Minneapolis, and have three amazing daughters: a 9-year-old and a set of 6-year-old twins. My favorite thing about being a parent is watching each of our children’s personalities, interests, skills and desires blossom. It’s SO much fun to see the people they are becoming, and what motivates them and brings them joy! My other favorite part of being their mom is watching their own sparks of creativity — the three of them love creating plays, singing and putting on shows for us. My oldest keeps a songbook, and writes her own songs, too. This is pretty much what got us through the pandemic — they put on countless shows! As for what bring me joy? Aside from my family, it’s writing, dancing (I LOVE to dance!), sitting on my deck with a cup of coffee and a good book, savoring nature (I love being outdoors… just not during the frigid winter months!) and catching up with good friends.

Tell us about your favorite places to go with your kids? Restaurants, roads trips, parks etc.

Our favorite restaurant is Edina Grill — easy atmosphere for kids and adults, and who can resist goldfish crackers BEFORE the meal?! We love going to Grandview Lodge every summer — it’s the perfect vacation for all of us to unwind and have fun, family bonding time together. A favorite outing for us is also the Linden Hills Farmer’s Market — it’s a Sunday morning ritual that makes us all happy. Now that it’s Fall, we’ll be excited to head to Minnetonka Orchards for apple picking and pumpkins, and we’ll also visit Sever’s Fall Festival, too!

Anything else you would like to share?

I just love being part of the parent community here in the Twin Cities — it’s been so fun getting to know so many parents and families over the last 10 years (since I became a parent), and I truly think it’s a great place to raise children.

Let us know where we can find you!